The Art of Interrupting

This topic has been quite entertaining to research! Some take-aways:

• Men are in the lead on interrupting with the goal of sharing information or establishing status.
• Women participate differently seeing communication as relational. Often, they allow interruptions to preserve the connection.
• Both men and women feel comfortable to interrupt others within their gender grouping.
• Interruptions span a range from exerting control to providing valuable information as well as from politeness to intolerance.
• Many factors play into why people interrupt: culture, speaking speed, time pressure, interest in the topic, offensiveness/defensiveness, and more.
• As with most social interactions, how others act is not always “personal.” That is, it is more about them than it is about you. Handy to know when encountering less-than-pleasant behavior.

I’m now seeing ‘interrupting’ is more of a choice than a social code. And everyone has a reasonable part to play in it:

• For the interrupters:
  • Interrupting does convey disrespect of others. Try to only use it when it brings value to a conversation to:
    • Move a topic forward
    • Fill in important information
    • Help alert others to danger
  • Simple, respectful ways to interrupt:
    • Use the person’s first name who is speaking – “Agatha, that’s a very interesting point …“
    • “May I interrupt/mention/interject/add?”
    • “Would you clarify …?” “Would you help me understand …?”
    • “What’s your thought on …?” “What do you think, Stephane?” “Jason, do you agree?”
• For Moderators/Leaders
  • Set an expectation in a meeting that everyone will be asked to comment.
  • Actively moderate a conversational-style discussion. Make room for appropriate interruptions/comments.
• For those speaking
  • Model respect to interrupters by letting them speak. If, however, they go off topic, redirect them back into the discussion:
    • “Thank you for bringing that aspect up which we will cover a little later. Please be sure to rejoin at that time.”
  • If an interruption is not constructive, presume that it is not a personal issue. Take it offline to understand underlying issues and alleviate misunderstandings.

There is a final caution about interrupting:

When we interrupt, we miss out on what the other person is sharing.

Don’t miss a golden nugget from someone else at the expense of telling your story to a disrupted speaker.

Keeping with our conversational tips to making better connections, we’ll share in another post:

• Bropropriating
• Mansplaining, and more … 

Etiquette For You is a valued source for one-on-one training, sharpening a team’s professional edge and strengthening personal social skills. A free consultation is offered to customize topics and solutions. Set an appointment to discuss your questions and design a program for yourself and/or your team: sandi.maccalla@gmail.com 

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