Fine Dining Refresher for the Holidays

Written By: Sandi MacCalla, Founder - LifeSkills Academy ~ 11/4/2024

Celebrating with cherished company makes holiday time golden with warm memories. Yet, how many of us fall out of practice with fine dining beyond daily habits? Mastering etiquette enhances special dining experiences and positively puts others at ease. After all, table manners convey our overall demeanor in life. Here are key etiquette skills to keep in mind this holiday season.

First Impressions: Arriving

When entering a restaurant, dressed in your finest attire, remember that the table is meant for dining settings, not personal belongings. Keep bags and phones off the table and place them on the side of your seat instead. This simple act maintains the table's elegance and festive sparkle.

Dining Right: Eating and Serving

• If dining with others, wait until everyone is served before you start eating.
• This rule changes slightly at buffets. It’s acceptable to start eating once you have your food. Don’t overload your plate; take small amounts and go back for seconds if desired.
• Never speak with your mouth full.
• Keep your voice at a moderate level.
• The salt and pepper always travel together, even if only one is requested. This alleviates them being separated.
• What’s wrong with this formal setting?

Mind Your Phone

Checking your phone while dining is considered distracting. If you must respond to an emergency, excuse yourself politely, handle it privately, and return unobtrusively. This respects your dining companions and their experience.

Respect the Staff

The individuals serving you are professionals who deserve respect. When you need assistance, say “excuse me” rather than snapping fingers, waving, or clapping hands. Addressing servers with respect goes a long way to creating a pleasant atmosphere for all. If you have concerns about the service or food, address them discreetly, with compassion, and politeness.

The Cloth Napkin: A Multifunctional Tool

• Place the cloth napkin on your lap as soon as you are seated. Never tuck it into your shirt or around your neck.
• As needed, use the napkin to dab the corners of your mouth gently. Do not wipe all over your mouth.
• If you need to leave the table mid-meal, place the napkin unfolded on the left side of the plate. Putting it on your chair may transfer food debris to where you sit.
• After the meal, place the napkin neatly next to your plate.

Mastering Cutlery

• Understanding how to use cutlery correctly is crucial in a formal setting. Start with the utensils farthest from the plate for the first course and work your way inward with each subsequent course. Practice at home to feel more natural.
• European style: the fork (tines down) remains in the left hand to eat and the knife in the right to cut.
• American style uses a zigzag pattern: knife in right hand and fork (tines down) in left hand to cut food; then switch the knife (blade facing you) to top plate edge and fork (tines up) to right hand to eat.
• When you leave the table temporarily, place your cutlery on your plate in an upside-down V shape.
• After the meal, place the fork and knife together diagonally across the plate at a 10:20 clock position with the knife blade facing you. The server will know that you are finished.

Finger Bowl Etiquette

Dip only your fingertips to remove any food residue. Then blot them on the napkin in your lap. Do not wash or scrub your hands or squeeze a lemon into the water and rub it on your palms. Also, don’t drink it!

Apres Dining

Using a toothpick at the table is generally frowned upon. Ideally, use a toothpick in the restroom to avoid discomfort for others at the table. If you must use one, cover your mouth with your hand to maintain discretion.

“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others.
If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” Emily Post

Dining should be an enjoyable and memorable experience. By following these social tips, you will enhance your holiday dining experiences and leave a positive and lasting impression on your companions and your memories. Bon appétit!

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